The Feline Who-Done-It


In a certain house lived two cats, named Friendly and Unfriendly. Their personal people left for vacation one time and allowed two other vacationing friends to stay in the house for several days. Friendly liked the visitors well-enough, and she enjoyed the petting and scratching, but Unfriendly covertly concealed himself in the garage—for Black Ops purposes, probably. The man sighted Unfriendly once scoping out the living room, but the skilled feline made his escape quickly.

On the visitors’ last morning, the vacationers packed their car and prepared to leave. While the breakfast meal cooked, the man suddenly discovered his pants and shirt soaked wet in the back—and they smelled like Feline Fizz! An indignant search of the premises proved that the Fizz had been stealthily positioned on the easy chair, in which the victim usually sat; a perfect booby trap.

The man grumpily stomped out to the car to acquire clean clothes from the buried suitcase. Then he took a second shower, changed, and stuffed the Stinkies into a plastic bag. Friendly watched it all with interest. Unfriendly diabolically remained hidden. This dastardly deed delayed the couple from leaving, putting them back a half an hour.

Several deeply rooted reasons could have instigated this vicious sabotage of time and pride. Maybe Friendly wished to detain the people from leaving. Or maybe she felt angry about the humans leaving and sought revenge. Or maybe Unfriendly did not want them to stay any longer. Or maybe one of the cats just had an “accident”.

This will remain as one of the great mysteries of the ages.



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