One thought on “Alone

  1. Do you find haiku last lines a pain sometimes, like I do? When I have an opening ‘scene’ like you do in these first two lines, I often have a hard time deciding how to put a zing in the tail. Should I link the third line to the scene or try for the abstract metaphor? There are so many options, but which is the most effective? My paper is soon full of potential endings.

    I feel the word “splotch” seems to clash somehow. As I read your verse, I can see several possibilities, but I probably would have gone with just “watching” or “waiting…” to leave it all hanging on a sinister note. 🙂

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