(Friday morning, July 17, 2020)
We haven’t bought paper plates in years, but with the 2020 pandemic virus, we can’t eat in our favorite restaurants, and eating in the car is messy, so, to protect the car, we bought a bag of heavy paper plates.
Now, this morning, the parakeet and I were alone. I played online tablet games, sitting in the electric easy chair, while Tutti perched fluffy on my free finger and gazed at me adoringly (I assume adoringly).
A shocking crash bang clatter happened and then a heavy thud, thud sound. Tutti flapped off squawking, while I had to wait idiotically as the electric easy chair slowly. lowered. the. foot. rest. Still alive, I hopped out of the chair and carefully eyeballed the kitchen, no one. Hands ready to deal killing blows, I slid over to the basement stairwell, nothing, then down the stairs, no one. I warily opened the garage door, nothing out of place. Okay, no Horrible Rioters or Vikings.
Back in the kitchen, I scanned the area again and noticed our bag of bottled water on the floor, like normal, but just beyond it lay the bag of heavy paper plates. I deduced from the evidence that if it had rolled out of the cabinet (it’s stored on its side due to lack of room), it would have landed on the water bottles and then thudded onto the floor. I straightened things up, so extremely grateful it hadn’t been vile assailants..