What Month Is It?

(This happened on the morning of December 1st, 2020)

I went downstairs to put some paintings in storage for Christmas gifts.

Said, “Hi” to the Husband, working in his office.

He very seriously stated, while looking at the calendar on the wall, “Today is the first day of September.”

I stared at him for a second.

Was he messing with me?  Or did he wishfully think we had more time in this year 2020?  

I tried not to laugh and asked, “September?”

He suddenly realized what he’d said and shook his head.

“December! Don’t tell anyone!”  

But I was already off to the computer, laughing.

When funnies happen on a snowy, cold day, one must share, mustn’t one?


The Present in History

(I had this experience back in May 7,  2016.  Just discovered it in my notes)

“Anything else for you? Okeedokee. If you need anything you be sure to let me know, ok?” The waitress made comments and asked questions at all the tables throughout the historic wooden stable room-turned dining area.

I watched her and the other diners, while I soaked up the clatter of plates being cleared off tables, feet thudding across the ancient wooden floors, voices and laughter drifting over from the different booths and tables in the Spread Eagle Tavern and Inn. I imagined hearing Lincoln’s voice chatting with people inside the inn proper, on his way to be president of the United States.

“Did you save room for dessert?” asked the waitress at one of the booths that used to be stables for horses underneath the hay loft.

If Lobsters Can

My sister just informed me she’s reading up on Maine lobsters and their behavior.

She said, “Did you know there’s no way to tell how old a lobster is?”

I said something like, “Monsters, lobsters!”

She ignored me and continued saying, “I wish women could accomplish that.”

It took a second to figure it out, but then I laughed. Hiding Age! If lobsters can do it, why can’t women?

A minute later, she said, “Did you know that lobsters urinate through their heads?”

My mind flipped and I repeated her earlier comment, “Wow, I wish women could accomplish that!”

You can imagine the conversation after that without my help.


I Was Kneaded



Persian Gray jumps up

stares me in the face

purrs extravagantly

I felt noticed

Then her front paws

gently begin to make

bread with my stomach

Husband says in cat-voice,

“Now do this every day

and you will lose

five pounds a week!”

The kneading lasts about

two minutes

Just so you know

the procedure